"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? Well that's all right because I like the way it hurts". What do these lyrics communicate to you? Love? Violence? Or worse yet, both? The new Eminem and Rihanna song, "Love the Way You Lie", has been a source of frustration and irritation for me since the first time I heard it on the radio. The catchy, gets-stuck-in-your-head-all-day tune (I actually just started singing it as a result of writing this and both my co-worker and I are now furious!) combined with the outrageous stardom of the performing artists has caused this violently charged song to continue to rise in popularity. Adding insult to injury, the music video displays some lovely images of abuse, sex, and flames all coordinated with heart-felt lyrics like:
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to f****** leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire
So, this is how the youth of our culture is learning about what a "romantic" relationship looks like. The fact that Rihanna "likes the way it hurts" also reinforces the stereotype that violence and aggression are what women want from their men and thus, how men are expected to behave. But, I won't let Rhianna and Eminem take all the credit. Songs like "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" and "Hurt So Good" have more than paved the way for this kind of mentality among popular music. Is it any surprise that dating abuse and sexual violence among youth seems to be increasing? Our communities are outrage by the stories we hear on the news about rape and assault, but we continue to allow songs like this to gain in popularity and profit. Now, I love musical talent and thought provoking lyrics just as much as, if not more than, the next person, but not when they perpetuate harmful beliefs and stereotypes.
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