Knowledge is Power

Join us, the Butler County Rape Crisis Program, in giving voice to our concerns, opinions, experiences, and resources when it comes to stopping rape and sexual assault in our communities. We'd love to hear from you!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Household Harmony?

Last week at the Juvenile Detention Center, I was talking to the kids about healthy and unhealthy relationships. Their responses to the topics we discuss are sometimes appalling, sometimes insightful, but always interesting. This past week, one of the boys made a comment to which I wasn't quite sure how to respond. In the previous class we had watched a video about dating violence and one of the men portrayed in the video talked about his patriarchal upbringing and his responsibility to "discipline" his wife and family. While all of the boys agreed that this statement was ridiculous and they would never hit a woman (thankfully!) one of the boys said he understood where the man in the video was coming from. He did not agree with taking it to a physical level, but he too was raised in a family that believed men to be the head of the household and the ultimate authority. I tried to get the class to brainstorm how a family could operate under that belief but still allow the wife to be an equal and respected partner in the relationship. Due to the general argumentativeness of the group, we did not reach any concrete solutions.

Because of the lingering societal notions of the male bread-winner, female home-maker, and historical Judeo-Christian family archetype, this young man's way of thinking is not uncommon. And while I am certainly not arguing for or against one belief or the other, this conversation at the JDC left me wondering whether or not the two very different views of feminism and patriarchy can harmoniously exist. Can a man be "head of the house" and still include his wife as an equal? Can a family be considered a patriarchy and allow feminist convictions as well? Is there a way to preserve tradition while still advocating for reform? I would like to say “yes” to appease my own beliefs and desires, but it is ultimately a question that needs to be decided on an individual level. However, I think we can all agree that when taken to extremes, patriarchy can absolutely contribute to harmful notions and violence against women. There is no belief, tradition, or excuse for verbally, emotionally, sexually, or physically abusing another person. Period.

No comments:

Post a Comment